So I'm miserable as many of you probably think I always am. I talked to Andy last night and is unhappy because he feels like he's left his friends behind since he's been with me. I know that that may be true in some cases. I also know that many people tend to do those things without realizing it. Its really bothering him that this has happened and to add to that he doesn't feel that we're any closer than when we first began dating. Honestly I don't know that I think all of that is really what's happening. I think he's a point in his life where he's gotten a little freaked out that so much around him has changed. It doesn't matter what I think unfortunately. This is going to be an awful blog. I really was extremely happy with him and it kills me that its over. I never had someone that made me not worry or could make me smile so much. I'm just so exhausted by dating. I don't want to start over at all. The thought of finding someone else and even trying to care seems so extreme to me. I hate that I can't be angry at him for anything since that would make it easier to deal with. He's such a great guy and I'm afraid I'll never see him again. I've never really been one to be friends after a breakup. I don't let go very easily of the status we once had. I'm so unhappy right now I can't handle it. I don't like that this is so out of my hands. I can't stand that I'm SO emotional. We weren't together for more than six months, but I'm completely stuck. I've been doing the whole memory flashbacks in my mind and its driving me nuts. I keep feeling like if I just explain to him how much I care about him it would fix things. I'm sorry for bringing down the day. That relationship was just something that I was really excited and happy about. I in no way saw this coming.