My Life As the Favorite

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I suppose this blog is a bit premature. I know its not the norm to post during the weekend, but what the heck. Stephanie nutella is a chocolate-hazelnut spread its really really good. Here's a pic:

So I've been considering this for a while not, but I'm starting to think I have A. an anxiety issue or B. some sort of depression-eque thing going on. Here are the symptoms that bother me most: I'm extremely shy and when I'm having a good day, stupid little things will really bring me down. For instance, if I'm hanging out with Andy and he leaves to go to work and just says "see ya later" that will really bum me out. I know how dumb that is, but its so hard for me to shake it. The shyness thing just kills me. I tend to feel like I have to have the perfect things to say at all times, but I end up just feeling really really awkward. Ugh! Ok one other issue I'm having. This age thing between me and Andy. He's 20, I'm 23. Why does this bother me so much?! I feel soooo old, but I know I'm not. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that his roommates tease me about. They're not being mean at all, but its something that already bothers me. I know we don't look that much different in age. Good lord I'm having quite the day.

Well unfortunately I think this blog was just a great big whine fest. I have to be getting to work now. I'm bartending, but I really don't think there will be much business considering the UT games is at 7p.m. and we don't do payper view ( that doesn't look right, not sure why). Hope you guys are enjoying your weekends. Maybe I can pull myself out of this rut before too long.


At 3:21 PM, Blogger StephM said...

You probably already know my take on your depression/anxiety seems like all of us have that is some form or another. All I can say is thank GOD for Wellbutrin. I still have sad/depressed moments, but they aren't as low as they used to be by any means. It just keeps it from being debilitating.

At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I think part of what you feel is just being human. We are emotional beings for the most part. I agree with Stephanie to some degree. I know Dad had his depressive moments and Mom was a very anxious person so you grobably have a legitimate inherited condition. I know one thing for certain, for me, being out of doors chaarges my batteries, cold overcast days especially in the winter make me blue and I know I am more emotional than my average male peers. It's who I am and I think it is who you are in your own way. Seek some counsel from someone you trust and you may very well learn to cope with being who you are... which as you know is what I love about each of my girls... yes you are one of my girls.

At 8:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you feel this deeply about the emotions you are having then I would say seek some help from a good qualified therapist or physician. Get a referral from someone you trust rather than the phone book. Medication is definitely a possibility, but try not to go into it, thinking it is long term. It is not a cure, it will just even out the levels. Ultimately, you need to work thru the feelings or talk them out with someone who can objectively give you feedback. You know all this, but I think you will find you are really stronger than you give yourself credit and a lot of the feelings and anxieties you are having is something everyone has on some level. You are nearing a crossroad in your life and that in itself will give anyone doubts and anxieties. Just know we all love you and are here for you if you need us.


At 8:28 PM, Blogger StephM said...

Yes...what she said. Oh, and I bought some Nutella.

At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Nutella crap is freakin nasty!!!! Have a great day. LOL!


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